Every relationship may be different but every relationship tends to end either one of two ways: mutually and respectfully... or really badly. Whether someone has been through a really epic breakup or have watched their best friend get her heart shattered, ladies know that the final days of a relationship are tough to deal with.
Sometimes, a couple who has been together for several years will look at each other and realize that they're no longer in love. The distance between them may have happened gradually but they can't ignore the fact that they feel differently about one another now.
The might even want to stay friends... and actually be able to do that. They may not be madly in love but they still care about one another, which is mature. Other times, something will happen, like one person meeting someone new and wanting to date them instead.
If a girl finds herself in a rocky situation and wants to fix things before she and her boyfriend end up breaking up, there are some things that she can try. They might not work, but if she loves him, it's definitely worth a shot, right?
If she's tried these final 20 things without result, though, it's really over.
20 She's Suggested Taking Some Time Apart
Whenever a movie or TV couple takes a break from each other, it seems to only end in drama or a huge fight. It never really goes very well.
And yet going on a break seems to still be a popular idea when a couple is fighting or on the verge of a breakup.
If she wonders if it's a good idea for them to take a break, she could mention it to her boyfriend. If she tries this and he says no but things keep going the way that they're going, then that could mean they're going to break up.
19 She's Reminded Him Why They Started Dating
Sometimes, a couple needs to take a little trip down memory lane and remember why they started dating. Did sparks fly at work or in a classroom? Did they meet at a party that one of their friends was throwing? Did their first date feel like it went by super quickly because it was so much fun?
If she tries to talk to her boyfriend about how their relationship began and get all cute and nostalgic about things but he's not interested in talking about that, that's going to hurt. More than that, it means that it's really over. If he still loves her and they're meant to be together, talking about the early days should do the trick.
18 She's Asked If He Still Misses His Ex-Girlfriend Or Thinks About Her
Sometimes exes come back to haunt a new relationship. She might wonder if her boyfriend misses the girl that he dated before her or if he's even still chatting with her.
If she asks him about his ex-girlfriend and he says that nothing is going on or he wants to stay in this relationship but things still continue to go downhill, then she can be sure that things are really over. The same thing is true if he claims nothing is happening but she still has a feeling that he wants to get back together with his ex. Sometimes gut feelings are meant to be listened to, and this might be the case.
17 She's Trying To Set Up More Dates For The Two Of Them
Some couples have date nights every single week, others like once a month, and others are more casual and spontaneous about the whole thing. Whatever works, right?
If she's tried to fix the relationship by setting up more date nights but it's not helping at all, that means that she and her boyfriend are going to break up.
He should definitely appreciate the time and effort that she's putting into the relationship. And couples do need to spend lots of time together in order to have a healthy relationship. Without that regular time spent together, it's easy to grow apart.
16 She's Considered Making Some Changes To Make Him Happy
No one should have to change who they are when they're in a relationship.
But if a couple isn't happy with each other and they could work on some habits or how they talk to each other, that sounds like a good and logical idea.
Maybe she can change some things, like looking at her phone all the time even when he's talking to her (which is a totally innocent thing but could still be frustrating to the other person). If she's considered making some changes to make him happy and nothing is happening, she'll realize that it's really over for sure.
15 She's Apologized For What She Feels She's Done Wrong
No one is perfect and sometimes, both people in a relationship have fouled up and done something wrong. It might be time for her to fess up. Maybe she flirted with her best guy friend or said something to his family member that was supposed to stay on the down low, or she hasn't been putting enough effort into the relationship.
If she has tried to apologize to her boyfriend about what she feels that she's done wrong and he's not interested in hearing her apology, then it sounds like things are really over.
She has done the hard thing and gotten honest, and she can't do much more than that.
14 She's Researched Love Languages And Tried To Figure Out His
Figuring out your love language and that of your partner has become very popular recently. The book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, talks about how you can learn what love means to you and your partner.
Do you prefer to spend quality time together? Do you like getting gifts? What about cuddling one another, or "acts of service," or "words of affirmation"?
If she has figured out her boyfriend's love language and tried to make some changes based on that—getting him the perfect gift for his birthday if that matters to him, for example—then it's really over if that makes no difference in the relationship.
13 She's Tried Talking To Him About Where He Sees Their Relationship Going
It's a beautiful thing when a couple can look at each other and realize that they're totally on the same page. They both laugh when one of them suggests moving in together because that's what the other one was thinking. They are always in sync about every choice that they have to make as a couple.
It's a super frustrating thing when a couple sees their future differently. If she tries to talk to him about where she sees their relationship going and he says that he doesn't agree, or he doesn't want to talk about it, that's not a great indicator that they'll remain in the relationship, either.
12 She's Offered To Stay Home More So They Can Talk More Often
She's a social butterfly and he stays home or goes to the gym or sees his buddies. Even though they live together, they're not always home at the same time and they don't spend every night together.
This happens in some couples, and so it would make sense if she tries to change her schedule so they can stay home and hang out together and talk more often. Maybe she offers to stay home two nights a week so that can be their time. When this doesn't work at all, she's definitely going to wonder why things are going so badly between them, and it's going to be really over.
11 She's Asked His Family Why He's So Upset And What He's Thinking
It makes sense that if she gets along with his family, she would turn to them during this rough time and ask them if they know why her boyfriend is so upset these days. Maybe something is going on with him that they know about but he hasn't told her. This could be really helpful.
Or maybe they don't know about the problems that they're having, which might mean that he wants to break up but hasn't shared that with anyone yet.
If she has tried this, too, and it still doesn't work, she doesn't need to feel bad about the relationship ending. It's honestly time and there is no other course for her to take.
10 She's Asked Him What She Needs To Do To Fix Things
It can be best to just go ahead and ask someone what they need. A girl who is having a tough time in her relationship wants to ask her boyfriend what she should do to fix things.
This conversation can go a few different ways, and neither one might be good. Her boyfriend could say that she can't do anything because he feels that things have just naturally run their course. He could ask her to change in a really dramatic way that upsets her because it would mean changing who she is completely and that's not cool. Whatever happens, she might realize that it's time to end things.
9 She's Said What She Needs From The Relationship
Does she want her boyfriend to come home from work and hang out with her for 15-20 minutes so they can have some quality time together, instead of going to the gym immediately? Does she want to have dinner together more regularly, if not every night? Does she want to have a hobby that they explore as a couple?
Everyone needs something different from a relationship. She might tell him what she needs and he might totally shoot her down or laugh or not want to hear it.
Or he might say that things will change but then nothing changes. In these cases, she'll know that things are heading toward a breakup.
8 She's Been Honest About How She Dislikes The State Of Their Relationship Now
When a relationship is starting to fall apart, it's totally possible that one person thinks that their partner wants to break up. It's easy for there to be all kinds of confusing mixed signals.
She can tell her boyfriend that she's really upset with the way that things are going. She can admit that she's disappointed in the state of their relationship and that it's making her miserable. When this doesn't work to fix things, it's honestly a final resort and there is nothing else that she can do. She's totally baring her soul and yet it's not changing his mind about making things better.
7 She's Suggested They Switch Up Their Weekly And Weekend Routines
Even the happiest, cutest, most in love (and most #relationshipgoals) couples get into ruts and do the same things all the time. They stay home on weeknights and weekends, haven't seen friends in a few weeks, and are becoming serious homebodies.
While everyone loves to chill out at home, couples need to mix it up sometimes and go on fun dates or see friends more often or figure out some new routines.
She can definitely try suggesting some new things that she and her boyfriend can do on weeknights and weekends. If that doesn't work—he says no or they keep fighting during these times, too—then it's over.
6 She's Mentioned Where She Thought The Relationship Would Be By Now
She can't expect her boyfriend to be a mind reader (no matter how cool that would be) so if she wants him to know what she's thinking, she definitely has to talk to him.
Another final thing that she can try is talking to her boyfriend about where she thought they would be by now. She can tell him that she's kind of disappointed because it's been two years and she thought that they would be at least moving closer toward getting married, or whatever it is that she feels. If this doesn't work at all, she can be sure that things aren't going to change between them, no matter how sad that is to consider.
5 She's Offered To Go On More Group Dates And See His Friends More Often
Maybe things have not only gotten stale in the relationship but they never really see friends that much anymore. That could be a combination of super busy schedules and the fact that they're not doing that well so they don't really want to be that social.
It might be a good idea to set up some group dates and make sure that he's still seeing his friends.
If she encourages him to make social plans and she invites some people over to their apartment or schedules some get-togethers, she's definitely trying her best to make things better. When it doesn't work, it shows that the relationship is on its last legs.
4 She's Made An Effort With His Family
She might not get along with his family all that well, despite how much she has tried. She might feel that she's already done all that she can but it's possible that her boyfriend wants her to try even more.
If she makes more of an effort and calls his mom or goes for lunch with his sister and still nothing changes in the relationship, it makes sense that she would feel let down and upset. It also seems like she would realize that despite the hard work that she's put into the relationship, it's really over, and she can't do anything else.
3 She's Said That She's Always Here For Him Even When Times Are Tough
Of course, couples should be there for one another when things are good and when things are tough, and couples might take for granted that the other person is a support system.
But it doesn't hurt for her to tell her boyfriend that she's still here for him, especially since they've been having some problems.
If she tries this and nothing changes and they still aren't doing well, then it's very possible that things are really over. He should be more than glad to hear that she supports him so much and that he can always count on her. It sounds like they just aren't seeing eye to eye anymore.
2 She's Asked Him Why He's Still In The Relationship
She might want to get some clarity on what's going on, so if she wants to try something else, she can ask him why he's still in the relationship.
At first, he might think that this is a bit of a strange question... but if they really aren't seeing eye to eye another, it's definitely a question that she needs the answer to.
Does he still love her? Does he even want to still be dating her? This will give him the opportunity to say whether he actually wants to stick around or break up. And if he won't talk about it or says he wants to break up, then she'll know.
1 She's Asked Him To Talk More About Emotional Subjects
Another final thing that she can try is asking her boyfriend to talk about more emotional subjects. He might not ever tell her how he's feeling, and while sometimes that is just someone's personality, it doesn't make relationships very easy.
She definitely needs to know how he feels and she has a right to want to discuss emotional topics sometimes. If she speaks her mind and he says that he doesn't want to talk about his feelings, then she'll see that nothing is changing. And when a relationship is headed off course and nothing changes, it's sad but a breakup might be the best thing for both people involved.