When a girl is dating someone she really cares about, the stakes are raised. The common relationship mistakes that almost everyone makes at some point suddenly become a lot more threatening, because they could mean losing someone who’s really important.
Making too many of these mistakes while dating a serious love interest could mean losing the chance to have that real, earth-shattering love that all people fantasize about.
Of course, everyone makes mistakes in every relationship. And just because a girl makes a few mistakes, it doesn’t mean that she’s going to ruin her chances with someone she really cares about.
Still, it’s a good idea to be aware of what kind of things are likely to repel a date and send them off running in the other direction. Some mistakes are more forgivable than others, after all.
If she really likes him (or her), she has to find the balance between rushing the relationship and letting it wilt. She can’t be afraid to follow her heart and be herself, while still being considerate of the other person’s needs and wants.
Keep reading to find out what 25 things she should never do if she really likes him, and wants it to work this time.
25 Be Jealous And Possessive
One thing that is sure to make a blossoming relationship go up in flames is acting like a jealous and possessive evil girlfriend.
When you really like someone, it’s easy to get carried away and try to monitor everything they do because you can’t stand the thought of sharing them with anyone else.
But nobody wants to be with someone who is overly possessive and jealous. This will have him running in the other direction, and rightly so.
24 Never Make Him A Priority
Relationships take work, and part of that is making your significant other a priority. Whether you’re just starting to date or have been together a while, your relationship should be important enough to be considered a priority. It doesn’t have to be the only thing you care about, but you should definitely care. Showing him that he’s less important than everything else in your life is likely to cause resentment, and will probably push him to get up and leave.
23 Act Too Lazy To Put Effort Into The Relationship
Every relationship will require effort. Not only should your partner be one of your priorities, but you also have to go out of your way sometimes to make it work.
That could mean sacrificing some alone time to spend time with your partner or traveling a long distance to see them or even accompanying them to a party that you’d rather not go to.
Getting too lazy could make your partner feel underappreciated, even if you don’t mean any harm.
22 Lie To Him About The Important Things
You might tell a little white lie to your partner every now and then, and that’s pretty normal. But it’s a whole different kettle of fish when you’re lying about things that are important. The line between unimportant and important can get blurry sometimes, so you’ll have to follow your gut instinct to tell you whether or not you should be coming clean. Lies turn into hiding things, which ends up tearing two people apart, and it’s not worth it if you really like him.
21 Bring Up His Painful Past
The past is over for a reason, and it never really serves to constantly bring it up. This is especially true if some part of your partner’s history is painful to remember.
Holding his past mistakes or bad luck over his head isn’t going to make him feel good and could end up totally sabotaging the relationship.
Sometimes it’s fun to go down memory lane, but remember that a relationship should always be moving forward. Don’t let it get stuck in the past.
20 Refuse To Meet Him Half Way
Relationships may not always be about sacrifice, but they are about negotiation. When you’re two people with two separate minds, hearts and schedules coming together and trying to build a life that you can share, there’s always going to be the need to compromise. Refusing to meet him half way in your negotiations, and demanding that things always go your way, is one way to push him away and ruin the relationship. Being with someone who always has to have their way gets exhausting really quickly.
19 Hurt His Feelings By Acting Impossible To Get
In the beginning of the relationship, a lot of people like to play hard to get. Nobody wants to seem too available to a prospective love interest, and whether you like to admit it or not, the chase can be a lot of fun.
But there should come a point where he finally catches up to you, and you both feel like the relationship is stable.
It’s not fair for him to feel unsure about whether you really care for him or not, and he can’t chase you forever.
18 Point Out His Flaws To Make Him Feel Small
Couples get on each other’s nerves all the time. If you really care about the person you’re with, you should try your best to not pick on him for his flaws, even when you’re seriously irritated with him. We all know what it feels like to have our weak spots pointed out to us, and it only ends up making us more insecure. You can give him constructive criticism in a gentle way, but it ends up being a problem when you’re being mean just to make him feel small.
17 Decline To Give Him His Own Space
Especially when you really like someone, it can be tempting to hang around them every minute of the day.
Some couples spend more time together than other couples, but to some extent, all humans need personal space.
If you don’t give him his own space, it could lead to a number of problems. He could start to resent you, feel stifled or even take drastic measures to get some kind of freedom back. It’s better not to back lovers into corners like that!
16 Act Like His Goals Don’t Matter
The best relationships are based on equality. Both people are equally important, and their needs, goals, and wants should be taken equally seriously. It can be a problem if you go to the ends of the earth to achieve your personal goals, but act like his don’t matter. You don’t have to achieve his goals for him, but you should be there to support him, the way he should be supporting you. Sometimes, supporting his goals can just be listening to him talk about them and giving him encouragement.
15 Rely On Him For Absolutely Everything
Relying on a partner for every little thing is never the way to go, for yourself and for your relationship.
This kind of behavior usually pushes the person you love away because, while it’s nice to feel needed, it’s also hard to take care of another adult.
This isn’t a good idea for your own wellbeing either, because if you and your significant other break up and you’re used to them doing everything for you, you’re going to be in some serious trouble.
14 Lose Her Identity For His Sake
Another thing to avoid when you’re really serious about someone (or just while in any relationship in general) is losing your identity to fit in with them. Many people feel that if they change things about themselves, they’ll be more likely to hold onto the relationship. While it’s okay to grow and improve, totally forgetting about who you really are will make you look superficial. You may also grow to resent your partner or yourself for hiding yourself.
13 Avoid Getting To Know His Family And Friends
Relationships are always easier when you get along with your partner’s family and friends, right? Unfortunately, you can’t choose whom your significant other is related to, or whom they’re friends with, and sometimes they bring people into your life that are just hard work.
If you can, making an effort to get along with them (at least when you have to see them) will make your partner a lot more comfortable.
And he’ll also be more likely to make an effort with your people in return!
12 Scare Him Off By Acting Paranoid
We’ve all thought things we’d never say out loud, and as long as you’ve got a working filter between your brain and your mouth, it’s okay to overthink things in your relationship every once in a while. What’s not a good idea, though, is voicing your concerns and acting paranoid about your partner when you’ve got no reason to. It’s one thing if you’ve been misled and lied to constantly throughout the relationship, but if your partner has been nothing but good to you and you’re still paranoid, he’ll probably be scared off.
11 Never Appreciate Him Or Say Thank You
It’s nice to be appreciated, whether it’s at work or with your family or in a relationship.
Forgetting to thank your significant other might not end up causing a huge fight today, but if you never ever appreciate him or say thank you, it can cause problems down the track.
Issues can arise when someone feels undervalued in a relationship, and part of showing you appreciate him and care about him is saying thank you. A good compliment never goes astray either!
10 Keep Big Details From Him
Hiding information can really end up destroying a relationship. People keep things from their partners for different reasons, and we agree: sometimes coming out with the truth seems too hard. Little truths may slip through the cracks—maybe he doesn’t need to know that every night after he falls asleep you analyze your pores in the bathroom mirror. But anything of significance will likely drive a wedge between you if you don’t get it out in the open.
9 Diss Him Behind His Back
This seems obvious, but lots of people talk negatively about their partners behind their backs, without even realizing what they’re doing.
You might think that girl talk with your college friends on a Friday night doesn’t count as dissing him, especially if everyone else is offering up jokes and stories about their partners.
But if what you’re going to say is disrespectful, and he’d be hurt if he found out you were talking about it, you probably shouldn’t say it.
8 Betray Him In Any Way
The obvious mistake that you don’t want to make with someone you really care about is betraying their trust. Truthfully, when you’re exclusive with someone, you wouldn’t really be betraying them if you actually did care about them. If you’re willing to do something that would break their heart if they found out, it could be because you don’t care about them as much as you thought you did. And you could end up losing everything—second chances aren’t guaranteed.
7 Embarrass Him In Public
One thing that could drive your partner away is if you make a habit of embarrassing him in front of his friends or your friends.
Sometimes, jokes that were born out of innocent intentions can end up really hurting someone’s feelings.
You might think you’re just joking and having fun, but if he tells you that you’re embarrassing him, or you’re getting that feeling, it’s wise to stop. Nobody deserves to be made a fool of by the person they’re in a relationship with in front of other people.
6 Hide How She Feels Forever
If you really like him, you won’t want to let him get away. That often happens when people never work up the courage to tell the other person how they feel. We’re not saying to declare your love too soon or let him into every thought you have about him. But if you act like you don’t like him to save face, eventually you may just push him away altogether. Sooner or later, you should stop hiding how you feel so the relationship can move forward, not backward.
5 Disrespect His Beliefs And Feelings
If the relationship is going to work, you have to respect your partner’s beliefs and feelings.
You don’t necessarily have to agree with how he feels about something, or what he believes in, but if things are going to be harmonious between you, it’s a good idea to agree to disagree.
At the very least, a couple respects that the other person in the relationship has opinions, values, and beliefs, even if they differ from their own.
4 Force Her Beliefs Onto Him
Part of respecting his beliefs is allowing him to have them, and not forcing him to take on yours. It’s easy to get carried away when you’re passionate about something, and there’s no harm in talking about what you believe in and listening to new information. But after all that, your partner still has the right to make a choice, and if he doesn’t agree with your beliefs, you can’t force him to. As long as he respects them, that’s all that matters.
3 Try To Rush Things Too Much
Especially when you feel really strongly about someone, it’s tempting to rush things. You may have the feeling that you want to be with them forever, and the burning desire to tell them so.
While you don’t want to hide your feelings forever, it’s also not a great idea to rush everything.
When the relationship moves too quickly, it’s easy for both people to become intimidated and confused about what they really want. It’s much better to take things slowly.
2 Force Him To Do Things That Make Him Uncomfortable
Nobody has the right to force anybody else to do something that makes them uncomfortable, no matter the reason. That definitely applies to couples too. We would suggest reconsidering a relationship with anybody who forces you to do things that your gut warns you not to do. So of course, you should treat your partner in the same way you’d like to be treated. Forcing him to do things that make him uncomfortable is wrong, and will just end up scaring him off.
1 Let Fear Stop Her From Pursuing Him
Perhaps the most common mistake that people make when it comes to dating, that often results in them losing someone they were really interested in, is letting fear stop them.
Fear can strike at any stage—you might be too scared to call them back, go on that spontaneous date, meet their parents or even move in.
Don’t let fear or insecurity be what stops you from making the relationship work. You may get hurt, but you can’t have love if you don’t take a chance. Let yourself fall and see what happens.