Guys can be awkward sometimes, especially when it comes to someone they love. He might be completely head-over-heels for someone, but that doesn't mean he knows how to show it. Some men stumble over their emotions, making the wrong impressions at first and giving off the wrong vibe to their person of interest.
His heart might be in the right place, but when he's stuck making clumsy attempts at being romantic and showing his feelings, it's easy for his partner (or potential partner) to misunderstand. How can anyone tell whether he's really in love with someone or if he's just being awkward or playing games?
Like most things in life, there are signs to look for when attempting to determine whether a guy is really in love. He might not even know his actions are giving him away, but there are some things that can't remain hidden. Some men are good at giving the impression they're really in love with their partners, which can make it hard to determine whether his feelings are genuine.
Rather than look at what amazing things he does for his potential lover, one might want to take a closer look at what he doesn't do. Here's a list on the twenty-five things he would never do to his partner if he really loves them:
25 Take But Never Give
We've all heard that relationships should be give-and-take. But when those rose-colored lenses are practically glued to our eyes, it can be hard to notice when we're the ones always giving and our partners aren't reciprocating.
The good news is after a few weeks or months, those tinted glasses fall from our faces and we can see a little more clearly.
If he's not giving as much as he's receiving, or if he isn't giving at all, then he's just hanging around long enough to take advantage of you. He's definitely not in love.
24 Talk Down To Her
When you're in love with someone, the last thing you want to do is talk down to them. Taking on a haughty attitude isn't exactly the best way to show you're in love unless, of course, you're not.
Any man who speaks down to his partner is not only asserting dominance in the relationship in one of the most toxic ways possible, but he's also making it clear that he's more interested in holding the power than he is in caring about his partner's feelings.
23 Lie About Her To Others
It's one thing to talk up a partner to impress friends and family, but it's an entirely different animal when a person outright lies about their partner.
Even if he's lying about how she's so great, it implies he feels the need to make her sound funnier, more optimistic or better at things than she actually is.
This, of course, makes it seem like he doesn't see her as "good enough," so what conclusion can a girl come to other than he doesn't love her as she is?
22 Withhold Closeness As A Form Of Punishment
First, it's not a man's job to punish his woman. It's not a woman's job to punish her man either. If there's an issue, two people should talk about it and work something out, not go above and beyond to punish each other. Withholding closeness, giving each other the silent treatment, or making snarky comments are all juvenile ways to handle situations and they usually make the argument worse.
If there's a problem and he tries to withhold affection, he's not in love, he's just trying to parent his partner.
21 Treat Her Like A Servant
If he's watching an intense game on TV and he asks for a sandwich, it's not that big a deal for his partner, who isn't even interested in the game anyway, to get up and make him one.
However, if he's just hanging out with his partner and he asks her to get up and make him some food when he's perfectly capable of doing it himself, things are a little different.
While it's nice to ask for things from time to time, a man in love will not make requests on a regular basis without reciprocating, and he definitely wouldn't make demands.
20 Ignore Her Birthday And Other Special Or Meaningful Events
When a woman has to remind her man over and over about her upcoming birthday party, there's an issue. When he still forgets on her big day, she's learned all she needs from him. He's definitely not in love with her if he can't offer her some basic respect by at least remembering the one day she was very excited to share with him.
Ladies, if your man is always "forgetting" your birthday, anniversaries, or other special events, it's time to move on to someone who really cares about you.
19 Ignore Her Calls/Texts
Again, when two people are in love, they can't stay away from each other. There are phone calls, text messages, FaceTime, Skype, Discord, Snapchats, IG! However they find ways to keep in touch, the bottom line is they don't let a day go by without at least saying "hello." If he's not in love, then he's going to let her calls go to voicemail and he's not going to bother listening to them, let alone call back.
Ladies, if he's not staying in touch, he's not in love. Period.
18 Keep His Life Private
When two people are in love, they want to learn everything about each other. They want to share as many memories, experiences, emotions, and physical acts as possible.
Any guy who is involved with another person but who never offers up information about himself isn't trying to be mysterious, he's shutting his partner out.
If he's not comfortable enough to talk about himself to the one person he should be able to trust, then he's not really in love. He might be on the way, but he isn't there yet.
17 Procrastinate Introducing His Partner To His Parents
Introducing a partner to your parents can be stressful. You're not sure how your parents will like them, how your partner will like your parents, or whether everything can blow up in your face. It's absolutely normal to feel a little anxiety, which is why so many people wait to introduce their partners to their parents until they're the relationship starts to get serious.
The issue is if things are getting serious and he's still not wanting to make introductions. If he loves his partner, he's serious about them, so he won't keep putting things off.
16 Pressure Her To Do Things She Doesn't Want To Do
No one should be pressuring anyone anyway, but if a guy is always pressuring his partner to do things they don't want to do, something's wrong.
It makes sense to encourage each other to try something new, but when the pressure starts to come in strong, it goes from a gentle nudge to practically forcing someone to do something they don't want to do.
This isn't a fine line that can accidentally be crossed, if he doesn't want to take "no" as an answer, then it's time to nope the heck out of that relationship!
15 Always Decide What They Do As A Couple
When a guy takes the initiative and plans a really fun day, it can be a great romantic adventure. There's nothing wrong with letting a guy take the lead on social engagements, but if he's always saying no to what his partner wants to do, there's an issue. He's basically saying he's not willing to try what his partner wants to do and is acting selfishly. As the famous verse goes, "love is not self-serving."
If he loves her, he'll let her choose their activities and will respect her enough to try new things every now and then.
14 Refuse To Join Her At Social Events
There are tons of social events where a person is expected to appear with their significant other. Think weddings, birthday parties, double dates, etc.
When he flat out refuses to join his partner to any social event of any kind, he's telling her he's not reliable.
He isn't going to be there for her and he doesn't care if it takes the wind out of her sails. When he's that stubborn about something as simple as a small dinner date with close friends, then it's a guarantee he's not emotionally invested in the relationship.
13 Give Her Ultimatums
A relationship isn't the Hunger Games. No one is expected to either fight or die. Neither partner should be giving ultimatums just to have their way. If he's constantly threatening to break up if his partner doesn't do what he wants them to, then he's not in love—he's just a controlling meanie. If he isn't willing to negotiate or give on things, he's not really in love.
Two people who love each other are naturally willing to compromise and they definitely wouldn't threaten each other with the relationship.
12 Offer Excuses Instead Of Apologies
When a person does something wrong, the right thing to do is apologize. We've all learned this basic form of manners and social interaction when we were children, so why is it that some people offer excuses instead?
Some people really struggle to recognize that they're not always right, so when confronted with situations in which they're clearly wrong, they would rather come up with an excuse for their behavior in lieu of an apology.
If he's "never wrong," then he's also not really in love. A man in love won't hesitate to apologize for poor behavior.
11 Be Unwilling To Give Her Second Chances
Everyone makes mistakes; the key to success and personal growth is learning from them. When two people are in love, they understand that no one is perfect. They want to see each other improve themselves, so second chances are a given. Here's the thing—when a guy isn't willing to give his partner a second chance on something minor (like putting him in an embarrassing situation or letting him down), then he isn't actually in love.
He's more interested in finding the "perfect" partner than he is investing any real time or effort into a relationship. He doesn't even know how to find love, so how can he actually be in it?
10 Refuse To Acknowledge Her Accomplishments
It doesn't matter if she's an academic guru or is killing it at reaching and surpassing personal goals—a girl wants to be acknowledged when she's doing well.
Any guy who tries to ignore her accomplishments is telling her that not only does he not find her impressive in the least, but he's also saying he doesn't care.
Worse yet, he could be harboring feelings of inadequacy compared to her accomplishments, but instead of talking about it like an adult, he pretends it never happened. No one in love would ever let their girl feel inadequate just because he can't handle praising her a little.
9 Habitually Make Then Break Plans
It's always exciting when a guy makes plans! His partner is happy to look forward to a special date or even just to hang out because when people are in love, they're only too happy to be around each other.
The thing is, if a guy is always making the plans then winds up breaking them at the last minute, it means he's prioritizing other things above his partner.
Ouch. If it happens every now and then, well, life happens, but if it's a constant thing, he's just stringing his partner along.
8 Only Talk About Himself
When a girl first falls for her man, she wants to know everything about it, so when he talks about himself, she might encourage it before recognizing that he only wants to talk about himself. Once she notices, she might speak up or try to talk about herself, but he'll keep charging ahead, glossing over what she's trying to say so he can redirect the conversation back to himself.
If a guy is treating a girl like this, he's not in love—he's just looking for a fan to listen to his every word.
7 Pull Away From Any Kind Of Serious Commitment
A man in love will be the first to support the idea of a committed relationship. Why would he run from a commitment if he was truly in love?
Even men who have issues with dedicating themselves to a single partner will give in if he's truly in love.
So if a girl ever finds herself involved with someone who doesn't seem to want to take the next step, it's safe to assume he's either not in love or is the victim of some pretty serious commitment issues.
6 Can't Appreciate Spending One-On-One Time
Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. They can hang out doing literally anything, even just sit in the same room doing their own thing individually, and they'll still absolutely love it. When love isn't involved, he can't handle just "hanging out" with his partner. If he gets bored every time they're together one-on-one, he's basically saying he's also bored with the relationship and doesn't see it going anywhere.
Sorry ladies, if he's bored with you, there's no way he's in love.
5 Call Her Out In Front Of Others
No relationship is perfect, and no one is perfect. When a guy is not in love, he'll do things like call her out and embarrass her on purpose.
A great example is when his partner says or does something wrong; instead of waiting to talk about it when they can be alone, he decides to call her out in front of everyone.
If he doesn't care about how she feels when confronting her in public, it's a guarantee he isn't in love.
4 Act One Way With Her Around Friends And Another When They're Alone
We all have a private version of ourselves, one that opens up completely with those we trust and love most. Though this part of ourselves is often kept away from larger groups, it is not to be compared to a guy who will treat his woman like a goddess in front of his friends and garbage behind closed doors.
Even if the opposite is true, and he treats her like a queen when they're alone but like she's nothing to him when they're around his friends, then he's not in love.
3 Attempt To Tell Her How To Dress Or Act
When a guy is in love, he's genuinely feeling strong emotions for his partner, regardless of any flaws she may have.
If he's saying he loves her but is also trying to change her, cue the red flags sprouting straight up into the air!
He's not in love, he's trying to groom her to be a woman he can approve of. The bottom line is simple: If he doesn't love her for who she is, then he doesn't really love her.
2 Convince Her To Focus On The Relationship Instead Of Personal Goals
Women can be extremely driven. Some want to get that degree, move up in their job, or maybe even have personal goals like finishing a book or focusing more on her family. Whatever her goals are, a man in love should encourage her to meet them, not pressure her to focus more on him and their relationship.
Any man who tries to turn a woman from her goals isn't in love, he's just a needy guy who is acting selfishly.
1 Refuse To Give In To Her Cute Requests Every Now And Then
He doesn't have to bend over backward for the love of his life, but if a guy is truly in love, he'll humor her every now and then. So she wants to go to the Halloween party dressed as milk and cookies.
If he loves her, he won't be embarrassed, in fact, he might even see the humor and wind up having a great time.
Any guy who refuses to budge when she makes a silly request isn't in love, he's just a stubborn guy who can't be bothered to let his girl have a little fun with him as a couple.