The best way of determining if you did the right thing in ending a relationship is, undoubtedly, your gut. For too long, you ignored that gnawing feeling in your stomach, that little voice that told you things weren’t quite right, that question of, ‘What if?’ Now, having pulled the plug, your gut feels soothed, placated. No longer is it sending warning signals or giving you the feeling of emptiness in the deepest parts of your being. Your brain and heart might not have known how things would play out, but your gut instinct knew all along.
Here are 20 signs that breaking up with your partner was the right decision.
20 She's Got A Clear Reason For The Breakup
Breakups that feel more ephemeral in nature can be harder to let go of. You simply drifted apart, but the feelings are still there, and you enjoy the closeness, which can lead to a back-and-forth situation that makes things hazy. Having a clear reason is much easier when ending a relationship, because you can point to it as the excuse for the dissolution of your relationship.
If you find yourself questioning your decision, go back and try to articulate the reasons why you ended things.
Maybe your partner wasn’t supportive of your goals, maybe you both wanted different things in life – whatever it is, identify it. It will help you move on.
19 She's “Alone” But Not “Lonely”
Loneliness is a common feeling after ending a relationship. You’ve spent so much time with one person, you can feel a bit unmoored once they’re gone. That being said, it’s important to differentiate between feeling “alone” and feeling “lonely.”
You can find a lot of satisfaction in solitude when it gives you renewed energy for your passions and time to pursue your goals but, you’re not flying solo all the time.
You might be single, but that doesn’t mean that your friends and family have suddenly disappeared and so, with them around – and in finding contentment in your own life – you don’t have to be lonely.
18 She Feels Better About Herself
If you’ve exited a dysfunctional relationship, you might have spent a lot of time feeling small, uncertain and dissatisfied with yourself and your life. After a breakup, a sure sign you made the right decision is feeling a renewed sense of confidence!
Finally, you’re holding your head higher, wearing what you want, feeling able to express your thoughts and opinions, and doing things that make you happy.
Putting yourself first – and not feeling bad about doing so – is a clear sign that you’re on the right side of a breakup.
17 She Enjoys Special Occasions Just As Much
Prior to breaking up, you often found yourself hanging onto your guy during social occasions, often because you were surrounded by his friends rather than any of your own (even if it was your own birthday). Maybe, he even insisted on doing things his way when you should have been able to compromise. After all, every relationship requires a little give and take.
If, after breaking up, you find yourself enjoying social occasions and events just as much – or even more so – than before, it means you’re more comfortable without your ex calling all the shots.
16 Her Friendships Are Getting Stronger
In bad relationships, we often find ourselves pushing away people we were once close to, directly or indirectly. Perhaps we enjoyed insulating ourselves in this tiny microcosm of just ourselves and our exes because it was easier, or perhaps they demanded that we forfeit all our friendships (never a good sign).
Having old friendships return into our lives and become reinvigorated in the wake of a breakup – whether friends reached out to us, or vice-versa – means that we definitely did the right thing.
15 She Wants To Be Social
It’s tempting to shut ourselves away after a split and sometimes, a little perspective is a good thing when we need to recalibrate our inner selves and figure out who we are and what we want. However, even if you’re grieving a breakup, that doesn’t mean you have to become a hermit. In fact, if you’re feeling like you want to get out, be social, make dates with friends, and fill your calendar with activities and hobbies, that’s a really good sign that you made the right choice. Acknowledging that you have a life outside your relationship, full of hope and fun, is super important.
14 She's Less Stressed
Crappy relationships take a toll on our mental health and overall wellbeing. Our lives already contain so much stress as it is, a relationship shouldn’t be an additional source of strain. Sometimes, though, we become so used to the pains of a bad relationship that we don’t even notice how stressed we are until we're single again! In a relationship, two people should be on a team, having each other’s backs. Being an adversary with the person you love isn’t good, and so, if you’re finding yourself less stressed post-split, you made the right call.
13 She's Stepping Outside Her Comfort Zone
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut in a relationship and, post-breakup, it’s equally as easy to wallow for too long and get mired in an endless cycle of watching sad movies and eating junk food. If you’re worried about whether or not you made the right decision to end your relationship, though, check out what you’re spending your free time doing. Stepping outside your comfort zone and challenging yourself to try things you’ve put off for ages is an excellent way to determine that you’re flourishing after the split, not flailing.
12 She Misses The Relationship, Not The Person
Relationships are a source of comfort. We get into established routines, we feel comfortable not having to shave our legs or put on makeup, we like always having a date for the holidays or Friday nights, and so on.
After the breakup, it's good to ask yourself if you're missing the relationship or the person you were with.
Figuring out that you miss the comforts of a relationship means that you could replace the other party with anybody else and that is a great way to tell that what you’re really mourning is being one half of a couple, but not necessarily with your ex.
11 She's More Productive
Asking yourself if you ever felt drained in your relationship is important to determine if, even in some way, the relationship wasn’t healthy. Relationships are meant to be energizing, not draining.
That’s not to say that relationships need to be perfect – a degree of work is necessary even in the most successful pairings, but that work needs to be productive to feel invigorating.
After a breakup, finding yourself with more energy is important to help you see that you made the right decision.
10 She's Sleeping Better
Like the lack of stress combined with feeling more energetic, you know you made the right call to end things when you find that you’re sleeping better. Even if you didn’t have insomnia beforehand, an uninterrupted sleep without any tossing and turning or bad dreams means that your subconscious may have accepted your decision more readily than you, and is allowing you to get some much-needed rest. The stress of your old relationship is luckily abating, giving you the opportunity to catch some major Zs, and ultimately, making you feel better overall.
9 Her Health Improves
Sleep contributes greatly to our overall health, but a healthy breakup (or one that bodes well for the long run) also means that you may take stock of your other habits. Perhaps your diet wasn’t the best in your relationship, or maybe you opted out of hitting the gym in favour of spending time with your ex.
Whatever it is, getting to focus more on yourself means that you may want to feel good all over, and that could mean overhauling your health.
Starting with a good night’s sleep and adding a healthy diet with some feel-good exercise-induced endorphins means that you’re looking past your breakup and into a healthy future – always a good sign.
8 Her Friends And Family Support Her Decision
In relationships, it’s easy to get tunnel vision. We ignore the flaws and faults of our ex because we love them, but, after hearing for the millionth time from our loved ones that we’re “better off” being split up from our partner, it’s important to see the grain of truth there.
What they’re really saying is that we made the right call. We can’t always see the truth for what it is when we’re blinded by love, but our inner circle is often more protective of us than we are of ourselves. If they’re saying we made the right call, we should take their word for it!
7 Her Future Is Intimidating, Not Suffocating
One good way to know that your relationship isn’t meant to be is when you look at the future together. Does the idea of moving in together, marrying them, or raising a family seem possible, or even something you want to do? Does the idea of potentially spending the rest of your life with this person cause you to break out in a cold sweat or send your mind racing with anxiety?
Feeling suffocated by the idea of spending the future with someone you love isn’t a good thing.
Now that you’re flying solo, if the future is less daunting and more appealing – even if it's still a bit intimidating – it’s a sign you did the right thing.
6 Crying Feels Cathartic
Even in relationships that were doomed from the start, it’s natural to want to grieve their ending. After all, that relationship was a part of your life that you spent with someone you cared about! However, there’s a difference in how your mourning period might feel when breaking up was the right thing to do.
If you feel that those crying jags and evenings spent sobbing in front of the TV were productive and downright necessary in order to move on, that catharsis is vital in understanding that you’re closing one chapter of your life and turning to a new, fresh page.
5 She Enjoys Her “Me-Time”
A lot of us underestimate the value and importance of “me-time”. Sure, we might do face masks or ten minutes of yoga every morning in the name of “self-care”, but really taking the time to enjoy being by ourselves, doing what we want to do, is extremely necessary, especially when we’re suddenly spending a lot more time with ourselves post-breakup.
Finding ways to enjoy being alone – reading a book, checking out a new podcast, strolling through a farmer’s market – is proof that we’re checking back in with our own wants and needs. After a breakup, being our own best friend for a little while is vital.
4 She Feels A Little Relieved
One of the best ways to tell if you made the right decision in calling it quits is to see if you feel relieved.
Sure, you can be sad or nostalgic, but if some small part of you feels relief from ending the relationship, that’s kind of all you need to know.
Having a source of stress and anxiety removed feels like a weight has been lifted, and that newfound lightness is an excellent way to tell you did the right thing.
3 Deep Down, She's Happy
You’re smiling more, you’re laughing more, you’re finding yourself with more energy every day. You might have been down in the dumps after pulling the plug on your relationship but now, days, weeks, months or however long afterwards, you feel like a whole new woman – a happy woman!
Discovering happiness is no small feat, but if you’re happier without your ex than you were with them, that should tell you everything you need to know about whether or not you made the right call.
Happiness should be shared in a relationship, but if you’re more content going solo, then you're on the right path.
2 She's Figuring Out Who She Is
In relationships, we can lose ourselves. When we enmesh our life with someone else’s, it’s easy to forget certain aspects of who we are, especially if the person we’re involved with would rather it be that way. Feeling a little loss of identity is normal following a breakup, especially if the relationship was an unhealthy one. Now, without someone to drag you down or make you second-guess yourself, you’re rediscovering and learning who you are and what you want. You don’t have to compromise yourself, your values, your goals or your future for anyone.
1 Her Gut Tells Her It Was The Right Decision
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, the best way of determining if you did the right thing in ending a relationship is, undoubtedly, your gut. Even when you try to ignore your gut during a relationship, sooner or later its voice will get louder and louder, forcing you to pay attention. When you know in your heart of hearts that you did the right thing, no matter how bad the breakup was, sooner or later you'll start to believe it. It just takes that leap of faith, but your gut is like your North Star, guiding you to a better, brighter future. Follow it!
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