Finding the one is the dream. But how does a lady know if the guy she is seeing is actually him or just an imposter wasting her time? Sometimes, the heart wants what the heart wants, even if that's not the right thing for her in the end.
Well, to know the answer, a girl in a relationship has got to look at the signs:
Signs that tell her he's the perfect match. Like, when he cheers her on to go make her dreams come true, makes plans for the future with her, and never forgets the little, but important, details of her life.
Of course, there are also signs that shout "Leave! Leave! Leave!" Like, when her friends are really hostile towards him, when he never seems to have any time for her, and when she has a nagging feeling in her gut that he's not the one.
So here are 10 signs they are a perfect match and 10 he's not the one for her.
Because life's too short to waste with the wrong guy in a dead-end relationship when a lady could instead have the best adventures with the one who was meant for her right from the beginning!
20 Perfect Match: He Listens Carefully When We Speak
First up, most guys and girls are really bad listeners. But guys are even more so. Because, society.
So if your man listens while you speak (really listens!) and looks you in the eye while you are saying something, he's definitely a keeper.
It's a big sign that he loves you and respects what you have to say. Plus, he wants to understand you and all the little things that make you 'you.'
Just remember: even the best listeners can't be attentive 100% of the time. We all have bad days when we would rather be alone and de-stress. So it's alright as long as he pays attention most of the time.
19 Not The One: He Doesn't Remember The Little Details That Are Important
Did he show up at your place with chicken dumplings and noodles even after you told him you were vegan? Or forget that you are allergic to nuts? Or maybe he keeps doing the one thing you absolutely don't like when you're together.
If the guy you are with does not remember these little, but important, details of your life, it's either because he's not that into you or because he's too narcissistic to care about anyone else other than himself. He's glossing over these things because they really don't matter to him, which is telling.
In short, he's not the one.
18 Perfect Match: Our Friends Love Him!
When you are with an awesome person, everyone feels that way too. Not just you. So, of course, your friends think he's the bee's knees! Why wouldn't they? He's really great.
And it's not just your friends who think the world of him.
Your family loves him to bits too. And we all know how hard it can be to impress the family!
Just remember: you are the person who spends the most time with him. So if you think he's awesome and your friends and family do too, then great! Otherwise, you have you ask yourself why is this guy so sweet to you in front of people but rude behind the scenes?
17 Not The One: He's Hung Up On His Ex
Do we even need to explain this? If the guy you are dating can't seem to stop talking about his ex, especially if you happen to be a mutual friend, then get out of there fast! He's not interested in you. He's interested in his ex and is probably using you to get back to her.
Just remember: if he talks about his ex a lot, it means he's hung up over her. Doesn't matter whether he says good stuff or bad. In fact, it's worse if he has got only bad things to say about her!
Trust us, you don't want to be with a guy of that kind.
16 Perfect Match: He Talks About Our Future Together
He's a keeper if he talks like one. That is someone who wants a future with us even if they do not know when that would happen. And this could mean anything. Like, talking about marrying you one day, having kids, and living an extraordinary life of together.
The point is, he's a perfect match when you are actively involved in dreaming up a future together.
When both of you are on the same page about the big things in life–finances, family, and religion. And when your life paths seem to be on the same page.
15 Not The One: He Flakes On Us In The Last Minute
Ugh! Can we move over them already? Because flakey people are total time-wasters!
So, if he flakes on you in the last minute, breaks his promises and commitments, and keeps repeating the same mistakes even after he has promised to improve, then he's definitely not the one for you.
How can he? He does not respect you enough to do what he said he would!
And don't get fooled by excuses like "It's my weakness." or "Give me some time. I'm working on it." Because actions do speak louder. And learning how to keep your word is not as hard as learning how to build an app from scratch with zero coding experience!
14 Perfect Match: He Shows His Love Through Small, Sweet Gestures
He's our perfect match when he knows our love language. That is, he knows what to do that will make us feel loved the most.
That's why he writes us love letters on real paper with a real pen because we feel loved when there's effort behind the expression.
Or, why he brings us flowers and chocolates because he knows we feel loved the best when we are pampered like a princess.
It's all about the small, sweet gestures, really. So, if your man is bringing his A-game in this department, he's definitely a keeper.
13 Not The One: He Gets Jealous When We Do Well
It's really heartbreaking when you realize that the person you are dating is actually jealous of your accomplishments and your talent. Because we all want to be admired for our best skills and accomplishments.
How do you figure this out? Quite simply. Just watch his behavior when you break him some good news from your personal life. If he gets stressed immediately or starts worrying about his own personal needs, it's a big sign he's distressed by your happiness.
He might even congratulate you and then highlight some of your personal flaws just to bring you down a notch.
In short, a jealous guy who brings you down is definitely not the one for you.
12 Perfect Match: He Apologizes When He's Wrong
This is a big one. Because if he can accept his mistake and apologize for it, it's a sign that he's actually a mature adult and not a 5-year-old stuck in a 30-year-old's body.
But don't just count the apologizes and let it slide because it's very easy to say those three words and then go ahead and do exactly what one was doing in the first place.
He's a perfect match when his apology is followed up with remedial actions. After all, why wouldn't he change his ways when he knows something about it distresses you?
11 Not The One: Our Friends And Family Don't Like Him
Have you ever introduced a boyfriend to your close friends or family and wondered why they were so hostile towards him? And even if they weren't hostile, why they were so lukewarm?
These are big signs your friends and family don't like your guy. And it pays to ask them upfront if that's what they think.
Why? Because love can blind us into ignoring the biggest flaws in our partner. Flaws that our loved ones can see clearly.
So, if your friends or family dislike your partner, ask them why. Because chances are big their reaction isn't the problem, your bae is.
10 Perfect Match: He's Our Biggest Cheerleader
If the man you are with thinks you are bestest thing to happen to this world since sliced bread, he's your perfect match. After all, what else do you call a guy who can see your potential and cheers you on to do your very best in life?
If you know you've always got his support, this is a super positive sign, and it feels good, too!
In fact, he's better than best if he's also great at calming down your frayed nerves before a big day and shooing away your imposter complex when you start achieving greatness.
9 Not The One: He's Always "Too Busy" To Make Plans
Puhlease! If the guy you are with has zero time for you and is always "too busy" with something else to make plans, then he's definitely not the one for you. Especially if he keeps you hanging because he "doesn't know if something will come up" and then apologizes when something does at the end of the week. Voila!
We don't even need to explain this. Because anyone who puts us on the bottom of their priority list is definitely not the one for us. And this includes those people who are fundamentally good and tick most of our boxes but who are too focused on something else in life at the moment.
8 Perfect Match: He Respects Our Family
Trust us, this is really important. After all, you don't choose who your family is. Just as you don't choose the body you are born with or the circumstances. You just accept them as part of your life. An important part.
So, if your guy respects your family, he's a perfect match for you.
It's a sign that he respects your roots and where you come from, and that he sees a future with you where your families will mingle with each other too. Note, though, that he doesn't have to love them or even want to hang with them. The key is being respectful, regardless of how he feels.
7 Not The One: He's Bad With Money
Discussing money or making it an important factor when it comes to choosing a partner might sound tacky to many people, but it's a reality we cannot avoid.
After all, money pays for everything. Everything! Including, the food on our table and the grin on our face after we come back from a skydiving experience.
So if the guy you are seeing is really bad with money (read: lifetime-debt, nearing-zero-balances, but-still-has-an-extravagant-lifestyle bad), then he's definitely not the one for you.
Trust us, love vanishes really quick when you realize you are with a person who will lose you your home and savings.
6 Perfect Match: He Loves Us Just The Way We Are
There's a reason why we love that Bruno Mars song. You know the one we are talking about! Because that's the ultimate dream–to be loved for who we are, just the way we are, without any judgments or mockery.
So, if your man loves you just like that, he's your perfect match. No questions asked!
Just remember: loving us that way doesn't mean he can't see our flaws and the areas where we can become better. He can. And does tell us when we are wrong and need to grow.
He just doesn't want to change us into a whole other human being before he can love us!
5 Not The One: He Says He's Afraid Of Commitment
Ladies, don't fool yourself into believing that you will be the Beauty who will change this Beast's temperament and show him how much he really does want commitment.
Life doesn't work that way. And we know it better than most people because haven't we encountered enough men in our life who thought our "No" was actually a "Maybe if you try hard enough"?
So, don't delude yourself. Take his words and leave... unless you don't want commitment either and are just there for the fun. #nojudgments #youdoyou
4 Perfect Match: He Thinks We Are Beautiful Even With Bedhead And Bad Breath
Awww! Isn't that the cutest thing ever? Well, it's true when they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder because your guy will view you through a rose-colored lens if he's really the one.
So, of course, he finds us beautiful even though we think we look like fuzzy monsters when we wake up in the morning!
And, of course, he doesn't mind our bad breath! It's just a human thing. Besides, we do maintain our oral hygiene. So our bad breath just isn't that bad really! At least, that's what he says.
3 Not The One: He Makes Us Body-Conscious
Okay! Rejected right now! Because if you stay with a man who makes you feel bad about your body, it's on you for not having any self-respect and walking away!
Trust us, any man who thinks it's okay to say bad things about someone's body is a real loser. After all, body distribution and shape is a matter of genetics and hormonal balance.
That's why plump individuals come from plump families and lean ones from lean. It's got nothing to do with our ability or inability to watch what we eat!
So, no. He's definitely not the one for you if he behaves that way.
2 Perfect Match: He's Our Best Friend
Life's an adventure when you are in love with your best friend. And by that, we don't mean your best friend is your perfect match!
It just means we should feel as if our partner is our best friend if he's our perfect match.
After all, we share everything with our best friend because they are our partner-in-crime in everything! Your "one" should be the guy you turn to when you feel like there's no one else who gets you.
Besides, best friends have matching personalities even if they do have a few differences here and there. And fights with them never last for too long!
1 Not The One: We Know In Our Gut He's Not The One
You can't explain it. But deep inside you have a nagging feeling that he's not the one.
Trust your gut when you get that feeling. Because if everything was hunky dory with your man, you would never ever feel that way in a million years. Not even if you had a disagreement!
We can't stress this enough. But since we know how hard it can be to hear your intuition when love is blaring its loudspeakers everywhere in your head, here's a simple way to know for sure: if you ever think he's not the one, ask yourself why. If the answer sounds convincing, it's your gut speaking.